Why Edward Snowden is Wasting His Twenties

The recent debate regarding the NSA and ‘pubic leaker’ Edward Snowden has prompted me to write this in the hope that the NSA will pick it up and it will go viral. You’re not a traitor Edward, you are a hero… and you should hang for this egregious offence. Being a hero is not an admirable trait to possess. It is a sickness that has a kind of clichéd glamour attached to it in this ‘internet Reddit generation’ much like being a black or a gay. It needs to be stopped. All being a hero does is make us good, law abiding citizens of the world feel guilty for not being more heroic and I, for one, am sick if it. Nobody should think that they can be a hero. If everyone was a hero, there would be NO heroes. What happened to the REAL American heroes like Karl Rove and Dick Cheney? We need them now more than ever before, because the most dangerous thing to happen to America since the fall of Twinkies and the rise of Integration, is Americans being arrogant enough to try to think for themselves and thereby attempting to form opinions. Personally I think the NSA should be COMMENDED for doing their job so thoroughly. Who wouldn’t want the Government watching us? I feel safe in the knowledge that they are out there, in the shadows of democracy, ready to let us know when we slip up, or are about to slip up, or may be in some danger of some way slipping up at some time in the unspecified future. We should thank God, who MADE America, for such a diligent and hard working agency. If more countries followed our lead we could stop so many of the World’s awful issues such as pornography, free speech, the gays or black people. Now I hear some of you cry “But what about our liberties?!” Erm, hello? Liberty is not free! Granted, the word is slightly confusing in that regard, in the same way you would be forgiven for thinking that Justice is in some way just. But don’t be fooled. We have to PAY for our free. That’s why taxes are so high. Look at Europe – crumbling because of it’s lax approach to human rights. Human wrongs more like! Forgive my humor for this is a sensitive issue and one close to my patriotic heart, but when one looks at the state of society today, with all of the mindless bleeting about how privacy should be private I can’t help but laugh. Do you have Facebook? Then you gave up your right to privacy a long time ago. Just imagine America, if you can, a world full of REAL heroes, men and women who serve their government unquestioningly in whatever way they are told to. Obedient, law abiding citizens who care not about ‘privacy’ or ‘liberty’ or ‘justice’ or ‘rights’ because they have nothing to hide and they are PROUD to share all of this with a government that truly cares about their well-being and happiness. How dare Edward Snowden be so bold as to tell us what he thinks we deserve to know?! We already have someone to do that for us, and his name is The President of the United States of America.

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